I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
