I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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