i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize