This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
