so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
