Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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