My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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