I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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