i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
