my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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