I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
