Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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