I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize