How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
