awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
did you just send me my own nude
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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