hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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