Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
