I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
