New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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