She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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