my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
