I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
