I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
