I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he just fucked me for my cheese..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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