you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize