I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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