As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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