can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize