Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
