Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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