I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
