help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
