So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
