Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think I sprained my soul last night
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
