Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize