make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
