It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
did you just send me my own nude
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
