Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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