just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
