It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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