Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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