Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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