There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
