why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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