I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
