I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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