is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
