I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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