i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
