there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
sarcasm needs its own font
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
