I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
