you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she peed on how many people?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
