Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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