Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
