Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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