I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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