Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
