Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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