Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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