The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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