We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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