just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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