Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
