So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
