Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
