Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
