I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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